DIY: Cat toys

Animals aren't finicky creatures when it comes to what they'll play with. This is why I don't understand why people go out and spend so much money on toys for their pets (or children. but that's another blog post). Here are some of the cheap and easy playthings I've constructed to keep the kittens endlessly entertained.

1. A cat tunnel. 

Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Yes, this was haphazardly pieced together using a couple boxes, a six pack holder, paper bags and duct tape. But for the two days before they ripped through it, the kittens adored it. Now they occasionally sleep in it. It's the thought that counts.

2. A cat condo

 Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Your eyes are correct, my version is an overturned box in which they used to sleep. They like to jump on top of it and...jump back off. Waste not, want not.

3. Shake rattle roll toy

Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Cats love toilet paper rolls. They don't shake or rattle, but they do plenty of rolling. That's all they need.

4. Cat tree

Store version

 

Zina Carolina version:

This one involved some actual work. Chris nailed some scrap wood together and I glued carpet on top. It was a fun project and the kittens are totally into it. Totally.

So next time you're planning to shell out money for your pet, instead crumple up a newspaper and throw it to them. They'll never know the difference.**


(Uh, just make sure it's not something they can/will eat.)

**These opinions not necessarily validated or supported by the American Veterinary Medical Association or it's affiliates. 

Soo...

I was just watching an Animal Planet program about animal hoarding when suddenly it struck me.

Might we have a bit of hoarder in the making? Feel free to keep your answers to yourselves.

It'sonlytemporaryit'sonlytemporaryit'sonlytemporary

Kitten Auditions: Meet Mogli

I'll try to put this delicately. Mogli isn't the most...attractive of his siblings. One might even venture to call him...ugly. But what he lacks in the looks department, he more than makes up for with sweetness. He's the consummate lap cat and a total momma's boy. Knowing that his looks may cause him to be bullied on the playground in the future has made me extra affectionate towards him. He's a special little guy. As they say, a face only a mother could love. 

Kitten Auditions: Meet Sasha

Sasha has always been the most alert of all her siblings. Even at two weeks old, she was always staring up at us when we came in the room. All that eye contact endeared her to us early on. (She's Chris' favorite...shhh) Sasha is intelligent, adventurous, and playful. She also shows signs of being a bit of a diva. With a face like that, can you blame her?

To vote for sasha, text SASHA to your mom

Kitten Auditions: Meet Grey

I am currently auditioning the kittens to decide which one I should keep. I will give a rundown of each of them so you can help me decide.

First up is Grey, also known as Little Grey. I did not know he was a boy until about a week ago. He is the fastest of all of his siblings and will zip right out of the room as soon as I open the door. He is also extremely affectionate and loves to be held and to take naps on me. For such a tiny kitten, he sounds like a tractor whenever he is petted.

What I consider to be his greatest talent is his ability to cover up double chins. To vote for Grey, text GREY to 800-555-6767. Just kidding, write a comment or something.

Purrthday Photoshoot

Yesterday was my lovely friend Jen's 28th birthday.  I love birthdays and want everyone's to be chock full of awesomeness. Thus, when I saw her status message yesterday, I took it as a personal challenge**.

 I would get her a picture of real live kittens in bow ties or die trying! If you haven't seen the movie Aristocats, here is a visual:

I was immediately faced with a setback: Chris doesn't own any bow ties. On any other day, this would not be a disappointing discovery. In fact, I am suspicious of any straight man who owns more than one bow tie. But or the first time ever, I briefly considered the benefits of dating a "metro"sexual.

I compromised by tying strips of fabric into loose bows around their necks. They were willing, if confused subjects at first.

Uncanny, no?

That didn't last long. In a month they have transformed from screeching, helpless lumps of fur into one- pound balls of running, leaping, exploring energy. If I open a door, they will try to run out of it, on principle alone. I soon discovered that their kitten principles extend to any attempts to make them sit still and pose angelically on a chair. They immediately began sprinting around the room, dive bombing under the couch and tackling each other. 

I should have known it wouldn't be easy. Even cartoon cats are hard to wrangle.

Eventually, one kitten (Yogi) passed out, as they always do after an hour of cardio. (They take after me). The other two kittens resisted settling down at first. 

But eventually, they began to lose ground. I choose to believe that they finally realized their principles were weak, at best. 

And finally, "success"! Hey, It's the best I could do.

 

Perhaps we can derive a life lesson from this. Artificial principles are weakened by exhaustion. We mustn't try to force others to do what we want. We just have to wait until they're running out of steam.

Now if we can just figure out how to get certain people on a treadmill.

Meow

**If you've ever been unemployed, you understand.

Frequently asked questions

As you know, Zina Carolina is one of the most popular blogs on the interwebs. I get a LOT of fan mail but due to the sheer volume, I'm not able to respond to it all. Instead, I've decided to answer the questions that I receive most frequently.

FAQs

Does Chris have a job? Yes. He recently obtained his South Carolina real estate license and works for  for a brokerage firm. Basically, he helps people buy and sell restaurants. He also waits tables at a local brewery for extra cash.

How do you get by without a job? For the last eight months that I lived in New York, I put 700 dollars a month towards saving while paying 800 towards my credit card balance. By the time I moved here I had no debt and enough money to pay my rent for a year plus my other savings. Life down here is also a lot cheaper than up north. My half of the rent for our 3 bed  room house is 350 dollars and we cook most of our meals. Of course, I don't want to live solely off my savings and I am actively job hunting. But I'm also actively working on figuring out what I want to do for my next career. That's a full-time job in itself.

Does your house smell like cats? No. I clean the litter box obsessively and it's in a closet in the guest room.

Could those kittens be any cuter? No, they couldn't.

Does Brutus like the kittens? He was initially scared of them and still sometimes is. He lets them play with his tail and sleep on top of him which is adorable. He has come a long way. The fact that he was terrified of 2 week old kittens (and fly swatters, brooms, and nail clippers) makes me fear for my future sons.


Is Brutus gay? That's his business.

Are you engaged? No.

Are you pregnant? No, just eat too much pizza.

What are you doing with your life? Currently, I'm planning to go back to school to get my Masters in Social Work and eventually become a relationship counselor, specializing in LGBT couples. I haven't worked in a human services since 2005 so I'm going to be volunteering to get more experience to put on my application. I also need to figure out what schools to apply to, write essays, request transcripts and references and take the GRE. This is all subject to change, of course, as most of my life plans do

Is South Carolina just a buncha' crazy rednecks? No. There are a ton of people from all around the country, and even the world living her. People move down here because the economy is good and the weather is mild. Of course there are rednecks. But there are also plenty of rednecks up North. I haven't had any issues. It's a very surprising town. You expect it to be one way, and when you arrive it's completely different.

Do you miss New York City? No. It was time for me to move on. I was exhausted from the stresses of living and working in Manhattan.  I loved the experience and I have no regrets but it was time to move on. Some people just aren't meant to live in New York and I am one of them.  I had a LOT of fun but a year and a half was enough for me. Actually, I do miss one thing about NYC: Gay men EVERYWHERE. And of course my lovely friends.

What do you do all day? I wake up whenever I want, let the dog out, feed the animals, do research online (schools, jobs, volunteer ops. facebook etc.), play with the kittens, watch tv, clean the house, play with the cats, have a beer. I basically just do whatever I feel like. I never know what day of the week or month it is. Everyday is like a Saturday.

Do you miss working in pharmaceutical advertising? There is nothing I miss less. Nothing.

Cat nap

Find something cuter than sleeping kittens. I dare you.

It's my costume and I'll cry if I want to

This past Saturday was Halloween. I initially wanted to dress up as the giant tube sock from the Skittles commercial that I'm obsessed with. If you haven't seen it, check it out:

Unfortunately, it proved to be a very difficult costume to put together. You can't just go out and buy a giant tube sock at your local Target. Instead, I decided to embrace what I've become in the last 2 weeks: a cat lady. Obviously my first stop was Goodwill. It is a gold mine for tacky clothing. Within 20 minutes, I had a pile of cat themed clothing to choose from. 8 dollars later, I had this snazzy getup:

The cats loved it for obvious reasons

I put a lot of effort into the details of the costume (including an hour spent applying glitter) and was confident that I'd be a shoe-in for the costume contest. Chris decided to wear the same costume he'd worn for the past four Halloweens: a whoopie cushion. He got it from a child who outgrew it. A child. Who outgrew it. He almost didn't even wear a costume. No Halloween spirit, I tell ya.

A few weeks ago, Chris read about a Halloween party at Thomas Creek Brewery. It promised , live music, BBQ and five hours of all you can drink craft beer for 10 dollars. As a plus, the brewery was less than 10 minutes from home. It was an easy decision.

The event started at 1:00 and by the time we arrived unfashionably late at 3:00 the party was in full swing. The instant we got there, some revelers turned and laughed at us. I was prepared for this. I know, I know people, cat lady = brilliant! The timelessness! The attention to detail!

And then, something terrible happened. They started telling Chris how awesome his costume was. CHRIS' COSTUME??? They looked at mine just long enough to register confusion then began requesting pictures with him like he was Jake Gyllenhaal. Dressed like a whoopie cushion. This disturbing trend continued the rest of the afternoon. I think some people honestly questioned whether or not I was wearing a costume. My visions of sweeping the costume contest and being paraded through the party on the shoulders of a horde of partygoers faded with each passing minute.

I beelined to the beer line to drown my sorrows. At least the beer did not disapoint. They had a variety of specialty beers, from IPAs to Vanilla cream ale to Belgian Porter. They also had some pretty intense cask beers that helped ease my pain. Chris on the other hand was eating up all the attention.

He started walking around squeezing the whoopie cushion to make the farting sound behind random people. The whoopie cushion that I told him to buy. The crowd loved it. I can't win. Obviously simplicity is key down here. I mean, a teletubby won the costume contest. A teletubby! 1997 called and wants it's costume ideas back.

Too excited for spell check

Ok yes, I was a little bitter. Halloween is MY favorite holiday and Chris swooped in and got all the attention with a lazy costume he didn't even want to wear. But despite the soul crushing, there were quite a few perks. The live music was good, the beer lines were short and the BBQ was amazing. Carolina BBQ is second to none. Chris had an incident with the hot sauce but that was kind of his own fault. We literally had to sign a waiver to try it and he decided to slather it all over his pulled pork sandwich. A few beers (and tears) later, he was recovered.

The party didn't go quite as I'd hoped but it ended up being a good time. At least the kittens loved my costume. And the old man from the portapotty line that offered to lick cat food off me. Hoping not to run into him again.

Below are some more pictures from the party.

Next year, I'm all over that giant tube sock.