Chris and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Now that's a bad day

Or week.

On Monday, Chris was scheduled to work a double shift at the restaurant, from 10 AM to 9 PM with a 40 min break in between. Work was slow but he was on his feet all day running orders. Then, the waitress who was supposed to relieve him called in sick. And none of the other waiters were able to stay. So Chris was stuck there until they finally closed up shop at 1:30. That's a long day. But it wasn't over. When he arrived at his car he discovered two things: his phone was dead and his car wouldn't start. Awesome.  He also needed to be at the airport the next morning at 7 AM. And hadn't packed yet.

He was able to power on the phone just long enough to call me and explain his plight. In turn, I called my mother and explained the situation. She headed out for the short drive downtown. Then Chris, who had found an outdoor outlet to plug in his phone, called me. I informed him that Loye was on her way to rescue him. We soon realized that he couldn't just leave his car there for a week so I called my mom and had her turn back for her jumper cables. Then I called Chris back and offered to help him pack over the phone.

Around 2:30, they finally arrived home. I'd cleaned the house, warmed up dinner and even laid out rose petals to help ease the pain of the day. But in general, it sucked. A lot. We woke up 4 hours later to drive to the airport. The airport was unlike any I've ever seen. I didn't even realize we were at an airport, I thought we were just taking a shortcut through an office park.

His flights from Greenville to Atlanta, then Atlanta to Philly, were smooth. But the weather that greeted him was a lot different than the mild Autumn we've had down here. It was cold, rainy and eventually snowy(!).

He started feeling sick the night he got to his parent's home in Central PA. Initially he thought it was a cold, brought on by a stressful week and the change in temperature. But it got worse and worse until on Thanksgiving he was so short of breath he couldn't talk. Today he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with bronchitis.  Happy Thanksgiving? Now he's on two medications and won't be able to drink at his friends' wedding on Sunday. Poor kid. At least he's with family and the medicine has eased his symptoms substantially. Here's hoping the rest of the week goes a little easier on him. And hey, it could always be a lot worse.

I know, I know, I'm knocking.

Frequently asked questions

As you know, Zina Carolina is one of the most popular blogs on the interwebs. I get a LOT of fan mail but due to the sheer volume, I'm not able to respond to it all. Instead, I've decided to answer the questions that I receive most frequently.

FAQs

Does Chris have a job? Yes. He recently obtained his South Carolina real estate license and works for  for a brokerage firm. Basically, he helps people buy and sell restaurants. He also waits tables at a local brewery for extra cash.

How do you get by without a job? For the last eight months that I lived in New York, I put 700 dollars a month towards saving while paying 800 towards my credit card balance. By the time I moved here I had no debt and enough money to pay my rent for a year plus my other savings. Life down here is also a lot cheaper than up north. My half of the rent for our 3 bed  room house is 350 dollars and we cook most of our meals. Of course, I don't want to live solely off my savings and I am actively job hunting. But I'm also actively working on figuring out what I want to do for my next career. That's a full-time job in itself.

Does your house smell like cats? No. I clean the litter box obsessively and it's in a closet in the guest room.

Could those kittens be any cuter? No, they couldn't.

Does Brutus like the kittens? He was initially scared of them and still sometimes is. He lets them play with his tail and sleep on top of him which is adorable. He has come a long way. The fact that he was terrified of 2 week old kittens (and fly swatters, brooms, and nail clippers) makes me fear for my future sons.


Is Brutus gay? That's his business.

Are you engaged? No.

Are you pregnant? No, just eat too much pizza.

What are you doing with your life? Currently, I'm planning to go back to school to get my Masters in Social Work and eventually become a relationship counselor, specializing in LGBT couples. I haven't worked in a human services since 2005 so I'm going to be volunteering to get more experience to put on my application. I also need to figure out what schools to apply to, write essays, request transcripts and references and take the GRE. This is all subject to change, of course, as most of my life plans do

Is South Carolina just a buncha' crazy rednecks? No. There are a ton of people from all around the country, and even the world living her. People move down here because the economy is good and the weather is mild. Of course there are rednecks. But there are also plenty of rednecks up North. I haven't had any issues. It's a very surprising town. You expect it to be one way, and when you arrive it's completely different.

Do you miss New York City? No. It was time for me to move on. I was exhausted from the stresses of living and working in Manhattan.  I loved the experience and I have no regrets but it was time to move on. Some people just aren't meant to live in New York and I am one of them.  I had a LOT of fun but a year and a half was enough for me. Actually, I do miss one thing about NYC: Gay men EVERYWHERE. And of course my lovely friends.

What do you do all day? I wake up whenever I want, let the dog out, feed the animals, do research online (schools, jobs, volunteer ops. facebook etc.), play with the kittens, watch tv, clean the house, play with the cats, have a beer. I basically just do whatever I feel like. I never know what day of the week or month it is. Everyday is like a Saturday.

Do you miss working in pharmaceutical advertising? There is nothing I miss less. Nothing.

Big things poppin'

Yesterday was a huge day for Chris and I.

Chris passed the South Carolina real estate exam and is now a licensed real estate broker.

And I got a weave.

Celebration dinner

Big thangs!

The Daily Haps - Thursday 9/30

Thursday was a bit more productive. We started out the day (okay, afternoon) doing random errands in the front yard. Chris cut some railroad ties for the garden and I painted a flower pot. The previous owners left some concrete flower pots strewn throughout the yard and I've taken it upon myself to repaint them all in lieu of doing any yard work of actual importance.

I basically live in exercise clothes these days. Not because I exercise more, because they are more comfortable than pants suits.

Once I tired of painting (2o minutes later) Chris requested (begged) that I accompany him to the driving range. I have never been and was extremely sore from playing tennis (once) all week. But he finally convinced me to go. I spent 45 minutes trying to pick out an outfit until he informed me there was no pretentious dress code at ranges.

The range turned out to be fun. Unsurprisingly I was the only female there. It was all middle aged men escaping their wives. After a few dozen fruitless swings, and despite being told that I swung like Charles Barkley, I finally hit it. After that I was hooked. I now understand why men go to the range to get away from it all. Granted, I don't have much to get away from, but it was still a nice change of scenery.

Afterwards we played some tennis and then...Buffalo bleu chicken burgers! With bacon! Yes, food is my life.

The Daily Haps - Tuesday 9/28

Tuesday was a very active day, and the reason that I have aches in muscles I didn't know existed. Around noon we went to Cleveland Park, a beautiful park near downtown. The park has a series of exercise equipment along one of the trails. Each one was a reminder of what terrible shape I am in. I could've done these exercises with ease in high school. Now, I can barely hang on long enough to take a picture. That's right, these are all staged.

After the photoshoot, we walked a few miles on the trail. The weather was perfect. Cleveland Park makes it more comfortable for the less exercise inclined like myself by cushioning half the trail. It's like walking on a mattress. I can almost convince myself I'm still in bed. Chris said the cushioning is to help prevent shin splints but I know the truth.

After the walk, we stopped at the courts for a quick game. For us, a game means rallying for 10 seconds, running to get the ball, rallying for 10 seconds, jogging to get the ball, rallying for 20 seconds, walking to get the ball...you get the point. Five minutes in, I was ready to go home.

On our way home we stopped at the grocery store to pick up lunch ingredients and gawk at the unrefrigerated meat.

What happened after the meat?? Stay tuned for the exciting details!!

The Daily Haps - Monday 9/27

Rain, rain go away. Monday was day 2 of cold rainy weather.

It was a stay-in-bed and watch Bad Girls Club reruns. This is what the day looked like:

Fast forward to the evening. We decided to go to a restaurant downtown called Lazy Goat since we had a gift certificate. We pregamed dinner with a couple glasses of wine. Look how much fun I'm having!!!!

Dinner was great. Paella for me and Steak Frites for Christoph.

During dinner, a monsoon started suddenly. Our waiter was nice enough to direct us out the service entrance so we could be dry for most of the walk back to the car. People are so nice here.

I was surprised when I first visited to discover that Greenville, especially downtown, has a lot of really great restaurants and bars. Eventually I'll write a post about downtown Greenville and all it has to offer but for now, I have a lot more exploring to do. If I have to drink at every bar in this town, I'm willing to make that sacrifice. You deserve quality information.

The Daily Haps - Sunday 9/26

Sunday was a wet and dreary day 'round these parts. The temperature dropped 30 degrees and the skies opened up. In spite of the weather, we decided to accompany Landlord Loye on a house hunting trip. She wants to move to a bigger house with more land. Most people, as they age, want to do less work. Not my mother. She's always looking for a new project to tackle. I'm still not convinced that I wasn't adopted. Imagine the upkeep on this place:

House hunting was unsuccessful; the 3 houses we saw weren't what she was looking for. But our Realtor made the whole trip worth it. Rick was a flamboyant gentleman and if we'd met in New York I'm sure it would have been at 5 AM at a gay club. But down here Rick is a married man who lets his inner queen shine by decorating and showing houses. I don't have any of my gays down here so he was like a double rainbow on an otherwise grey day.

After house hunting we stopped at Copper River Grill, a wannabe Applebees, for lunch. The food was pretty bad but the company was good. I got to hang out with my only friends!!!!

Then a stop at Landlord Loye's for some dessert: rum cream + ben & jerry's mint chocolate chip. Try it.

We then headed home to Chris could prepare for his staffing agency interview the next day. Who wouldn't hire this guy? Seriously, please hire him? Please? Please!!!

The Daily Haps - Saturday 9/25

Without a job, half the time I don't even know what day it is. All the weekdays just kind of run together. But despite the weeks being quite pleasant, the weekends are still exciting. I drink an extra 5 beers with dinner and sleep in without guilt. After awakening around noon on Saturday, I geared up for a Snapped marathon with a grilled cheese-and-tomato sammy.

5 hours into the marathon, Landlord Loye swung by to finally put the finishing touches on the endless door project. Our handyman is a sweet, well-meaning man but his sense of deadlines is not the greatest.

We'd planned to make meatballs but it turned out the ground turkey had spoiled. At least I'm assuming turkey shouldn't smell like year old milk. Instead we decided to have pizza night. So, Chris headed to the grocery store. Since I'd already cracked eggs for the meatballs, I decided to make brownies. When life gives you rotten meat, make organic brownies! I should make t-shirts.

Chris returned over an hour later (toppings indecision) and got to work.

Our life in Greenville isn't filled with the hottest clubs or celebrity run-ins. What we do have is pizza night. It's my favorite night of the week. There is just something so orgasmic about a pizza that you made with your own hands. Every time, we experiment with new toppings. We've done a turkey pepperoni/goat cheese/onion/hot pepper pie and a spicy sausage/goat cheese/hot pepper/potato pie. Tonight was bacon/onion/gorgonzola/hot peppers. Yes, we really like hot peppers. They make everything better.

Up close and personal

It was delicious. And since it was Saturday night, we decided to have a few beers. 2 six packs later, the beer gods convinced us we were starving and we devoured the 2 remaining slices of the pizza. Unfortunately, we weren't satisfied. Chris casually suggested that he make a new pizza. I drunkenly scoffed. It was already after midnight and pizzas take time. Chris countered that he could make a pizza in 25 minutes. I scoffed again. Roll the dough, put on the toppings and cook in in 25 minutes? Scoff! As a heterosexual male, Chris took this as a challenge and shuffled off to the kitchen. I took a picture of the time as evidence. Seriously, just go to bed guys.

24 minutes later, a plate of fresh baked pizza slices was placed in front of me. He'd done it. He'd won Iron Pizza Chef, with a minute to spare. And I gotta say, this may have been the bud light wheat talking, but it was the best pizza I've had in a long time.

The evidence. 1:12

And then of course we followed this up with some brownies for dessert. By the time I went to bed I appeared to be 3 months pregnant. I almost wish** I was, at least then I'd have an excuse for such behavior.

**KNOCK ON ALL THE WOOD IN THE FOREST