Weird Carolina: Ad placement

In South Carolina, they see nothing inappropriate about advertising Disney on Ice in the parking lot of an establishment called Scooters and Hooters.

I'm not going to make any jokes about Disney princesses working the lunch shift but I will say they totally stole the name of my future biker strip club.

DIY: Cat toys

Animals aren't finicky creatures when it comes to what they'll play with. This is why I don't understand why people go out and spend so much money on toys for their pets (or children. but that's another blog post). Here are some of the cheap and easy playthings I've constructed to keep the kittens endlessly entertained.

1. A cat tunnel. 

Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Yes, this was haphazardly pieced together using a couple boxes, a six pack holder, paper bags and duct tape. But for the two days before they ripped through it, the kittens adored it. Now they occasionally sleep in it. It's the thought that counts.

2. A cat condo

 Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Your eyes are correct, my version is an overturned box in which they used to sleep. They like to jump on top of it and...jump back off. Waste not, want not.

3. Shake rattle roll toy

Store version:

Zina Carolina version:

Cats love toilet paper rolls. They don't shake or rattle, but they do plenty of rolling. That's all they need.

4. Cat tree

Store version

 

Zina Carolina version:

This one involved some actual work. Chris nailed some scrap wood together and I glued carpet on top. It was a fun project and the kittens are totally into it. Totally.

So next time you're planning to shell out money for your pet, instead crumple up a newspaper and throw it to them. They'll never know the difference.**


(Uh, just make sure it's not something they can/will eat.)

**These opinions not necessarily validated or supported by the American Veterinary Medical Association or it's affiliates. 

Carolina Cooks: Great balls of cheesy meat

Holy crap. Holycrapholycrapholycrap. I just had the most amazing balls ever.

Stop it.

I'm talking meat balls, kids.

A few factors combined to create this life-altering moment of bliss.

1. My mother has a serious, potentially dangerous addiction to Costco and consequently, brought over 4 pounds of ground turkey meat to store in my freezer.
2. I've become obsessed with reading recipes on Pioneer Woman because she has lots of gorgeous pictures of food that I drool over.
3. Chris is gone all week and he did not hire a ladysitter to cook my meals.

So tonight I decided to do something about all that meat. A tub of blue cheese in the fridge beckoning to me. Called my name.

"Zina. Carolina. eat me. eat me"

And you just can't ever go wrong with meat + cheese. A quick google search led me to this recipe:

Tantalizing Turkey and Blue Cheese Meatballs

Ingredients

4 cloves garlic

1/2 onion, cut into chunks

2 jalapeno peppers, halved and seeded

1 pound ground turkey

3 tablespoons blue cheese

1/2 cup bread crumbs

3 egg whites

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce

1 tablespoon dried parsley

1 tablespoon Italian seasoning

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

1 teaspoon chili powder


Directions
1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil and set aside.

2.  Pulse garlic cloves in a food processor until minced. Add onion and jalapeno, and pulse until minced again. Scrape the onion mixture into a large bowl along with the turkey, blue cheese, bread crumbs, egg whites, and olive oil. Season with soy sauce, dried parsley, Italian seasoning, pepper, and chili powder. Mix well.

3.  Roll the mixture into 2 inch balls, and place onto prepared baking sheet. Bake in preheated oven until golden brown, and no longer pink in the center, about 25 minutes.

Substitutions: Instead of soy sauce, I used salt and instead of parsley I used basil. I also don't have a food processor (hint, hint Santa) so I just chopped the garlic, onion and jalapeno.

Note: Some of the cheese will ooze out while baking but it still maintains that earthy blue cheesy flavor.

Meatballs with a side of wild rice

I hoped they would be good but oh my God. OH MY GOD. Tantalizing is an understatement. The flavors of the jalapeno, blue cheese and other seasonings combined to create this incredible burst of flavor.  MmmmmmmMmmmmmmMmmmmMmmMmm.

Okay fine I'll stop now. Just make them, for my sake.

Come home Chris, this is getting out of hand.

Soo...

I was just watching an Animal Planet program about animal hoarding when suddenly it struck me.

Might we have a bit of hoarder in the making? Feel free to keep your answers to yourselves.

It'sonlytemporaryit'sonlytemporaryit'sonlytemporary

Kitten Auditions: Meet Mogli

I'll try to put this delicately. Mogli isn't the most...attractive of his siblings. One might even venture to call him...ugly. But what he lacks in the looks department, he more than makes up for with sweetness. He's the consummate lap cat and a total momma's boy. Knowing that his looks may cause him to be bullied on the playground in the future has made me extra affectionate towards him. He's a special little guy. As they say, a face only a mother could love. 

Kitten Auditions: Meet Sasha

Sasha has always been the most alert of all her siblings. Even at two weeks old, she was always staring up at us when we came in the room. All that eye contact endeared her to us early on. (She's Chris' favorite...shhh) Sasha is intelligent, adventurous, and playful. She also shows signs of being a bit of a diva. With a face like that, can you blame her?

To vote for sasha, text SASHA to your mom

Kitten Auditions: Meet Grey

I am currently auditioning the kittens to decide which one I should keep. I will give a rundown of each of them so you can help me decide.

First up is Grey, also known as Little Grey. I did not know he was a boy until about a week ago. He is the fastest of all of his siblings and will zip right out of the room as soon as I open the door. He is also extremely affectionate and loves to be held and to take naps on me. For such a tiny kitten, he sounds like a tractor whenever he is petted.

What I consider to be his greatest talent is his ability to cover up double chins. To vote for Grey, text GREY to 800-555-6767. Just kidding, write a comment or something.

Carolina Cooks: Dinner Improv

Chris had a bad day on Monday. I didn't anticipate quite how bad it would be but I knew he'd be exhausted and starving by the time he got home so I wanted to make a tasty meal for him.

A quick scan of the mostly empty fridge and pantry revealed that my options were meager. I knew I'd have to improvise. I remembered seeing a half empty jar of pizza sauce which kickstarted a pizza craving.

A tiny lightbulb went off when I remembered we had some frozen naan in the freezer.

And a block of cheddar cheese that I could shred.

5 minutes later I had gathered all the ingredients and was dicing the vegetables. Your pantry and fridge will determine what you put on your pizza but here is what I used:

2 pieces of naan (could also use english muffins)

Cheddar cheese - shredded

A few tablespoons tomato sauce

Half a jalapeno pepper - diced

1 clove garlic - minced

One slice of red onion - diced

4 pieces of large pepperoni

A few sprinkles of blue cheese

Prep

Preheat your oven to 350. Scatter about a tablespoon of pizza sauce onto naan ovals. Top with whatever you want. Sprinkle with cheese.  Bake for 10-12 minutes, until naan is crispy on bottom and cheese is bubbling. Sprinkle with seasonings (oregano, red pepper flake etc.) if you'd like. Easy peeazy.

For the side, I also made a box of rice and beans. All in all it took 25 minutes start to finish and Chris loved it. A little bit of improv goes a long way.

This website will even do the improvising for you. Just list the ingredients that you have at home and it churns out recipes that can be made with them. It's helped me make many a casserole.

Chris and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Now that's a bad day

Or week.

On Monday, Chris was scheduled to work a double shift at the restaurant, from 10 AM to 9 PM with a 40 min break in between. Work was slow but he was on his feet all day running orders. Then, the waitress who was supposed to relieve him called in sick. And none of the other waiters were able to stay. So Chris was stuck there until they finally closed up shop at 1:30. That's a long day. But it wasn't over. When he arrived at his car he discovered two things: his phone was dead and his car wouldn't start. Awesome.  He also needed to be at the airport the next morning at 7 AM. And hadn't packed yet.

He was able to power on the phone just long enough to call me and explain his plight. In turn, I called my mother and explained the situation. She headed out for the short drive downtown. Then Chris, who had found an outdoor outlet to plug in his phone, called me. I informed him that Loye was on her way to rescue him. We soon realized that he couldn't just leave his car there for a week so I called my mom and had her turn back for her jumper cables. Then I called Chris back and offered to help him pack over the phone.

Around 2:30, they finally arrived home. I'd cleaned the house, warmed up dinner and even laid out rose petals to help ease the pain of the day. But in general, it sucked. A lot. We woke up 4 hours later to drive to the airport. The airport was unlike any I've ever seen. I didn't even realize we were at an airport, I thought we were just taking a shortcut through an office park.

His flights from Greenville to Atlanta, then Atlanta to Philly, were smooth. But the weather that greeted him was a lot different than the mild Autumn we've had down here. It was cold, rainy and eventually snowy(!).

He started feeling sick the night he got to his parent's home in Central PA. Initially he thought it was a cold, brought on by a stressful week and the change in temperature. But it got worse and worse until on Thanksgiving he was so short of breath he couldn't talk. Today he went to the doctor and was diagnosed with bronchitis.  Happy Thanksgiving? Now he's on two medications and won't be able to drink at his friends' wedding on Sunday. Poor kid. At least he's with family and the medicine has eased his symptoms substantially. Here's hoping the rest of the week goes a little easier on him. And hey, it could always be a lot worse.

I know, I know, I'm knocking.

A new frontier

I'm tired. And I don't really feel like blogging. I spend a lot of time mentally planning what I want to write and once I do write a post I end up reading and rereading and editing it so much that it takes days before I actually post it. I'm also a lifelong member of the Procrastinator's society.

But I've been reading a lot of the Pioneer Woman blog lately. It's a blog about a single city girl turned rancher's wife and all the ins and outs that come with life on an Oklahoma ranch. Aside from provoking fantasies about living on a thousand acre ranch, her blog has made me realize that I need to just write. Even if the post seems boring or stupid, it's important to just put stuff out there so that the blog doesn't end up falling by the wayside. Some of Pioneer woman's posts are just pointless, weird musings but I lap it all up because reading about someone else's life is inherently interesting. So that's what I'm going (try) to do. I'm pioneering a new blog! I want to stop being such a writing perfectionist* and just throw some stuff out there about life on my "ranch". Eventually, I might even get more than 3 readers. (Hi Krysten, Chris and Tabitha!)

Until I lose motivation in approximately 2 hours. Bear with me, I'm no rancher's wife.

Purrthday Photoshoot

Yesterday was my lovely friend Jen's 28th birthday.  I love birthdays and want everyone's to be chock full of awesomeness. Thus, when I saw her status message yesterday, I took it as a personal challenge**.

 I would get her a picture of real live kittens in bow ties or die trying! If you haven't seen the movie Aristocats, here is a visual:

I was immediately faced with a setback: Chris doesn't own any bow ties. On any other day, this would not be a disappointing discovery. In fact, I am suspicious of any straight man who owns more than one bow tie. But or the first time ever, I briefly considered the benefits of dating a "metro"sexual.

I compromised by tying strips of fabric into loose bows around their necks. They were willing, if confused subjects at first.

Uncanny, no?

That didn't last long. In a month they have transformed from screeching, helpless lumps of fur into one- pound balls of running, leaping, exploring energy. If I open a door, they will try to run out of it, on principle alone. I soon discovered that their kitten principles extend to any attempts to make them sit still and pose angelically on a chair. They immediately began sprinting around the room, dive bombing under the couch and tackling each other. 

I should have known it wouldn't be easy. Even cartoon cats are hard to wrangle.

Eventually, one kitten (Yogi) passed out, as they always do after an hour of cardio. (They take after me). The other two kittens resisted settling down at first. 

But eventually, they began to lose ground. I choose to believe that they finally realized their principles were weak, at best. 

And finally, "success"! Hey, It's the best I could do.

 

Perhaps we can derive a life lesson from this. Artificial principles are weakened by exhaustion. We mustn't try to force others to do what we want. We just have to wait until they're running out of steam.

Now if we can just figure out how to get certain people on a treadmill.

Meow

**If you've ever been unemployed, you understand.